Bored
by chidoriamane
Summary: AU Thanks to technology, Allen can pester Kanda every time he's bored. How? By sending him e-mails during class of course. And why in the world Allen has a pair of scissors with him? Yullen or Arekan. Sequel is up.
1. Chapter 1

Bored

-chidoriamane-

Blame it on boredom - hence the title - that I made this impromptu fanfic. Major CRACK.

* * *

From: Moyashi  
To: JerKanda  
Subject: **I HATE YOU**

Why are you sitting in front of me? I can't see the writings on the board! And it's not like I want to see your _beautiful overflowing hair_! Stop flaunting it!

* * *

From: JerKanda  
To: Moyashi  
Subject: **I HATE YOU MORE**

Che. Not my problem your short, shorty. Drink some milk. And it's not like your taking notes anyway. Our subject is _Math._

And leave my hair alone! (And you're just jealous! Hah!)

* * *

From: Moyashi  
To: JerKanda  
Subject: **DIE BITCH!**

Well excuse me for being 'short', BaKanda! And just so you know, I drink milk. And it's not working! Now go away and sit at the back. I am trying to study, you know. Unlike _you_!

I would really like to leave your _pretty pretty long hair _but I just can't! It's blocking my view of the teacher! (Eww... I'd rather keep my white hair than have it like yours.)

* * *

From: JerKanda  
To: Moyashi  
Subject: **I'LL FUCKING SHOVE MUGEN UP YOUR ASS!**

In case you forgot what Tyki-sensei said, I'm sitting on this seat. Get over it your stupid head, brat. And you're not studying. You're ogling Tyki-sensei. _Don't think you can fool me!_

See! You just laid out your true intention! **You're ogling Tyki-sensei!**

**

* * *

**From: Moyashi  
To: JerKanda  
Subject: **I'LL BURN YOU HAIR!**

I am so not ogling at him! And don't turn your head on me and smirk like that! It's goddamn annoying. And god! Your hair just swayed with your movement. I'll fucking cut it!

**I AM NOT OGLING TYKI-SENSEI!** (I understand better the lesson when I see the face of the teacher!)

Wait... are your _perhaps maybe just a cinch _jealous?

* * *

From: JerKanda  
To: Moyashi  
Subject: **I'LL INTRODUCE YOU TO MY FIST**

Tsk. Just come out and say it. I _know **you love **my _hair. Don't deny it. It's too damn obvious. (And was that a blush on your cheeks when I showed you my _'sexy' _smirk?)

Dream on! As if I'd ever get jealous over a Math teacher who wears ludicrous eye glasses and has no fashion sense at all.

* * *

From: Moyashi  
To: JerKanda  
Subject: **YOU AND YOUR LAME THREATS**

Oh God! You're ego is remarkable. How can you love yourself so much? (And no! I wasn't blushing! I was mad! Those were flares of anger!)

Exactly my point. Ah wait. Tyki-sensei isn't that bad! He plays _coughstripcoughs _poker with me and Krory-sensei from time to time. And he's kind of have a really good _uh _body. Not that I'm interested or anything, of course.

* * *

From: JerKanda  
To: Moyashi  
Subject: **AS IF YOU CAN DO BETTER**

Yeah right. Whatever, looser.

_STRIP POKER?_

_

* * *

_From: Moyashi  
To: JerKanda  
Subject: **GOD MUST HATE YOU _SO _MUCH**

Nice! You just embarrassed yourself in front of the whole class. Shouldn't you be calmer, more stoic, and stuff? Now everyone thinks you're a _perv. _But don't worry, my opinion of you still hasn't changed. You're still a jerk!

Yes, strip poker. Got a problem with that? (Don't tell me you want to join us sometime?)

* * *

From: JerKanda  
To: Moyashi  
Subject: **AND HELL IS KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR**

Your opinion doesn't hold anything on me. As if I _care _of what you think. (If you think at all, that is.) And I'm not a jerk, you brat. I'm just way ahead of your league. Heh

Tsk. As if I'd enter a game I'd readily lose. _Cheater!_

_

* * *

_From: Moyashi  
To: JerKanda  
Subject: **YOU ARE HELL. _DUH!_**

Hey, your hair is really defenseless. I can cut it anytime, you know. Look behind you. I've got a pair of scissors! I just borrowed them from Lavi.

Are you accusing me of cheating? Where's your proof, girly man?

* * *

From: JerKanda  
To: StrikeLavi  
Subject: **MUGEN WANTS A PIECE OF YOUR ASS**

Why in the seven hells did you lend your stupid scissors to the stupid brat?

* * *

From: JerKanda  
To: Moyashi  
Subject: **YOU'RE SAYING I'M HOT**

Lay a hand on my hair and you're dead! I mean it, bean sprout.

Who are you calling girl, kiddo? Do you want to see my six packs?

* * *

From: StrikeLavi  
To: Moyashi  
Subject: **MUGEN IS AFTER MY ASS**

Give back my scissors! (Of course right after it had a taste of Yuu-chan's luscious hair.)

* * *

From: StrikeLavi  
To: JerKanda  
Subject: **NOOOOOOOOO. SRLSY. THAT'S JUST _UH _GROSS?**

I was blackmailed! Believe me!

* * *

From: Moyashi  
To: JerKanda  
Subject:** DUDE, YOU'RE ON DRUGS!**

Oh my god. You're obsession with your _awfully beautiful healthy _hair is amazing. You make me speechless.

That's just _eww_. Why would I want to see your stomach, cocky bastard? (And FYI, I've got those too. Can't believe that? Hah.)

* * *

From: Moyashi  
To: StrikeLavi  
Subject: **HIDE YOUR ASS**

Ah sure thing, pal. My hand is itching to get close to those tempting strands. Hey, this may be the last time I e-mail you. So I just want you to know that... that...

I was the one who ate the strawberry cake Lenalee gave you in your anniversary. It's not Kanda.

* * *

From: JerKanda  
To: Moyashi  
Subject: **YOU'RE DEAD!**

_i'_.

YOU CUT MY HAIR!

* * *

From: StrikeLavi  
To: JerKanda  
Subject: **GIVE ALLEN MORE PAIN. HE'S A MASOCHIST.**

Make him suffer harder!

(Oh Allen admitted he's the one who ate the strawberry cake!)

* * *

From: Moyashi  
To: Angel/DemonBoots  
Subject: **HEEEEEEEEELP~**

Kanda and your boyfriend are ganging up on me! And I thought they were my friends. Huhu

* * *

From: Moyashi  
To: JerKanda  
Subject: **GAH! MUGEN IS NOT ALLOWED IN SCHOOL**

I won't have it your way! Try and catch me, long-haired bastard.

Oh yeah, I'm putting your _silky oh so smooth _hairstrands into auction! Thanks for the profit, BaKanda!

And as a thanks, here's a ...

* * *

Allen stops abruptly on his tracks, catching Kanda off guard who manages to halt just before he can bump to the smaller body. The white-haired teen gives him an angelic smile before tip-toeing and planting a chaste kiss on his lips. Then he runs at full speed.

* * *

From: Moyashi  
To: JerKanda  
Subject: **YOUR EXPRESSION IS PRICELESS. I TOOK A PHOTO.**

_kiss._

And I know you _liked _it so much that you're aching for more. (Don't worry, you'll get lots of it in the future. And maybe something more.)

_

* * *

_Thanks for reading! And don't forget to review!

* * *

**Omake**

From: JerKanda  
To: ImmaTease  
Subject: **SENSEI, ALLEN KISSED ME.**

(No word.)**  
**


	2. Chapter 2

Bored II

Author's Note: Haha… How did you know? I made a sequel! It's short though.

* * *

From: JerKanda

To: Moyashi

Subject: **YOU'RE GAY!**

You fucking kissed me! And you had the gal to take a photo, damn you!

Post the photo in the net and consider yourself dead.

* * *

From: Moyashi

To: JerKanda

Subject: **I'M AS STRAIGHT AS A PROTRACTOR & SO ARE ****YOU**

Hmph. Don't act like you didn't enjoy it, sucker. Just be thankful I didn't use my _tounge. _(I don't want to surprise you now, do I?)

(Puh-lease. I'm not that vain. But Lavi is on his way to do just that.)

* * *

From: Moyashi

To: StrikeLavi

Subject: **BUSTED**

I told BaKanda about your 'evil' plan. Good luck, ol' pal.

Stay Alive. ('cause **I'll be the one ending your short life**. I got permission from your girlfriend. Sweet, isn't she?)

* * *

From: JerKanda

To: StrikeLavi

Subject: **WHERE THE FUCK ARE YOU?**

Don't you dare! I'll really slice your useless head this time. I AM NOT JOKING.

* * *

From: StrikeLavi

To: Moyashi, JerKanda

Subject: **VISIT THE LINK**

www. arekan. com/ seme_allen/ uke_kanda. jpg

I'm gone to hibernate. Please **don't look for me**. PLEASE!

* * *

From: Moyashi

To: StrikeLavi

Subject: **NICE PHOTO. NOT.**

While I'm thankful you made me look _seme_, I'm still hunting you down.

* * *

From: Moyashi

To: JerKanda

Subject: **HAHA. YOU'RE THE **_**BOTTOM**_**!**

I knew you had it in you. But I should have realized sooner that _you're_ a **tsundere**(you know, the tongue-slashing-feisty-but-deep-inside-sweet-and-innocent type).

* * *

From: JerKanda

To: StrikeLavi

Subject: **SHINU, BAKA USAGI!**

Delete that photo. **NOW,**

* * *

From: JerKanda

To: Moyashi

Subject: **I CAN TOP YOU ANYTIME. ANYTIME.**

I'm not tsundere, you seme-wannabe.

(And I still have to revenge my hair. Where in the shit-hole are you?)

* * *

From: Moyashi

To: JerKanda

Subject: **IS THAT AN INVITATION?**

FYI, I was born to top. Heh

(You sound so gay. Eww…)

I'm not hiding, BaKanda. I'm looking for _coughs_hunting_coughs_ my ex-best friend.

* * *

From: JerKanda

To: Moyashi

Subject: **DO I HAVE TO REPEAT MYSELF, SQUIRT?**

I'd like to see you try and die.

For the last time: **I'.GAY. **_Damn it!_

* * *

From: Moyashi

To: JerKanda

Subject: **CHE. 2****ND**** FLR. BOY'S CR. LAST STALL.**

Make sure to muffle your screams, _Yuu-chan. _I won't take responsibility when we get caught.

(And hurry the hell up!)

* * *

From: JerKanda

To: Moyashi

Subject: **STOP E-MAILING**

_Who's screaming now?_

* * *

From: Moyashi

To: JerKanda

Subject: **I HATE YOU**

Jerk-_oh_!

_S-stop_! Don't be… so _ah_!... rough~!

* * *

From: JerKanda

To: Moyashi

Subject: **I HATE YOU TOO**

(No word)

* * *

END

Translation: **Shinu, Baka Usagi **- Die, Stupid Rabbit

Thanks for reading! Please leave review~

* * *

OMAKE

From: StrikeLavi

To: Moyashi, JerKanda

Subject: **PHOTO DELETED**

I AM SO (NOT) SORRY. LENALEE MADE ME DELETE THE PHOTO OF YOU TWO MAKING OUT ALONG THE HALLWAY ON BROAD DAYLIGHT WITHOUT A CARE IN THE WORLD IF SOMEONE WAS ACTUALLY – I AM SHUTTING UP NOW.

SO I'M FORGIVEN, RIGHT? RIGHT?

* * *

From: StrikeLavi

To: Moyashi, JerKanda

Subject: **ARE YOU TWO PLOTTING EVIL AGAINST ME?**

NOOOOO! _**Don't combine forces**_! That's the worst thing next to genocide!

* * *

From: StrikeLavi

To: Moyashi, JerKanda

Subject: _**UH **_**HELLO? ANYONE?**

Seriously guys, this is creeping me out. Why aren't you trying to kill me? Not that I'm grateful.


End file.
